pointless figures- official top 10 off the Internet

[Rosetyler]

"Destroyed Cassandra is uncool, what's the point of the editor" I hear you say well I found this on the net and here are the worst figures pt1:

When Doctor Who returned to TV screens in 2005, it not only excited a group of loyal fans but turned a whole new crowd of burgeoning nerds onto the often weird but ultimately fun British science fiction series. It also finally gave Who fans a great deal of merchandise, of which they'd only enjoyed a trickle during the previous four decades or so much of it thanks to Character Options and their Doctor Who action figures. But let's face it -- while the Doctor has battled many types enemies over the years, very few of them were as merchandisable as the Daleks. So unfortunately, when you went to local toy store to buy a Doctor or a Rose action figure, you were much more likely to find these 10 bottom feeders waiting in their place.


10) The Moxx of Balhoon

One of the first alien races seen on the new series, Moxx appeared in "End of the World" and his most memorable scene is spitting in Rose's face. Then he died. If his figure could have actually sprayed water, it might have been interesting as something more than a weird Max Rebo bootleg.

9) The Hoix

Remember the Hoix? No, of course you don't. That's because most people blocked out the terrible episode "Love and Monsters." For those that didn't, like me, it's because the cool-looking Hoix has an all too brief cameo in the episode; alas, he was much more of a running gag than a legitimate threat.

8) Doctor Constantine

"Empty Child" was a creepy standout of the first season, but an action figure of lab coat-wearing-old man Doctor Constantine wasn't ever going to be high on any Who fans' wishlist, even with his gas mask on, Besides, the far creepier "empty child" of the title was also available in a co-pack with Captain Jack. Everyone got them instead.

7) Faceless Grandma Connolly and the Wire

"The Idiot's Lantern" was an okay time waster in season two that featured Faceless Grandma Connolly, essentially a smarmy lady on television who took your face away. It's hard to believe anyone got excited at a two-pack of a faceless old woman (who inexplicably came with an optional head, in case you simply wanted an action figure of a face-having old lady) and a TV with a lady smiling on it. Weirder than that is that Rose also succumbed to the Wire that season, and a figure of her makes much more sense. Of course, they didn't make that.

6) The Editor

An evil, pasty faced man in a suit, The Editor was actually the servant of the even more evil Jagrafess on board Satellite Five. He wasn't even the real bad guy, but more of a middle management-type. If you're wondering why this character was chosen to be immortalized with a toy, look no further than the actor playing him, star Simon Pegg, whose loyal followers Character Options figured could use one more action figure. Alas, the figure's likeness was horrible, and only the most loyal Pegg-heads bothered to purchase it.

[Rosetyler]

And now your top 5 (plays exciting music):


Any version of any Doctor is usually a great addition to any wave... unless he's a silly CGI Doctor that looks more at home in a Harry Potter film than Doctor Who. Plus anything that reminds you of the terrible ending to Season 3 should be set on fire.

4) Gelth Zombie

While "The Quiet Dead" was an interesting piece that set up the backstory of the time war (and the Doctor's love for Charles Dickens), an action figure of a reanimated corpse of an elderly woman is still just an ugly action figure of an old lady. I guess if you wanted to, you could create a grocery checkout line playset, with a very angry Doctor waiting for the woman to find her coupons in her enormous purse.

3) Toby Zed (Unprocessed Version)
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When originally released in his possessed form -- with red eyes and covered in ancient script -- one could see why the evil Zed was thought to be an interesting figure. This variation however, is merely an action figure of a 20-something virgin. If we wanted that, there are plenty of Napoleon Dynamite figures in the clearance bin, thank you.

2) Astrid Peth

Another bit of star freaking sadly, Astrid (an anagram of Tardis) was a one-off companion in the somewhat uneven "Voyage of the Damned" special who perished when she bravely fought off perhaps the series goofiest villain ever, Max Capricom, who luckily didn't get an action figure. The big draw of this figure is that it's of actress pop sensation Kylie Minogue. I guess the toy makers hoped for some big crossover with fans of the first (and sadly best) live action Street Fighter film. [Ed's note: Kylie Minogue is awesome. End of discussion.]

1) Destroyed Cassandra

Lady Cassandra O'Brien was an animated flap of skin that terrorized the 9th Doctor in "End of the World" and somehow lived to haunt the 10th Doctor in "New Earth." Seeing as the character is basically a towel hanging on a fancy rack to begin with, she wasn't much of an offering the first time, let alone when Character Options re-released her empty towel rack as "Destroyed Cassandra" a year later. It's one step up from releasing "Invisible Doctor" and selling an empty package -- although at least that would be of a main character.

[Rosetyler]

Now ladies and gentlemen what are your top 10 pointless figures

[The14thDoctor]

I think a pointless figure is Chip, because he's just so boring

[oohaverylongusername]

I quite like Dr. Constantine, It's captain Jack without his coat I don't like from that story. Moxx needed arm articulation and spitting action. the gelth zombie is a nice display piece with the gelth phantoms but not really a good action figure. we didn't need an unpossessed toby zed. Grandma Connolly should never have been made. The Editor is a very bad figure of a very dull character who is utterly pointless without the mighty jagrafess. Lady cassandra should have come with a removable skin made of rubber you could attach or detach to/from her frame. Astrid worked as a box set figure but two other releases weren't needed. the hoix just wasn't a well made figure and with no other figures rom that episode seems pretty pointless as aliens in fishnet stockings go.

Scarecrows are pretty pointless without the family of blood to control them. and we got three. why?
Hath Peck is without a foe to fight or a Martha to fix his arm. or save from drowning.
Lilith is a complete waste without her sisters or a Carrionite in natural form. she's also a rubbish figure.
The Adipose are cute but need a matron
Genetic print Dalek was just an excuse to flog more Daleks just like all the other Daleks you own
Nurse Hame she's grey and has a gun but what is she armed against? nothing.
Roman soldier was based on a bloke who works at CO but who cares apart him and his chums at CO
Mutant reveal Dalek. innaccurate and the tentacles aren't even bendy.
Damaged Cyberman has no bits and pieces to put him back together and then blow him apart once more. zero play value and a wasted opportunity to do something fun with a figure.
Dalek Sek hybrid is a new age hippy freak Dalek/human who crawls around on a chain and then dies. we didn't need a figure of him. what we needed was a figure of Dalek Sek with open casing and Kaled mutant revealed that had a stretchy rubber feel and lovely bendy tentacles. a proper monster.

Satan pit lift cage. why? it's a box that hangs from a cable then smashes to bits. it didn't even have a working cable drum. no chance of using it for anything practical like play.

[Rosetyler]

I quite like Dr. Constantine, It's captain Jack without his coat I don't like from that story. Moxx needed arm articulation and spitting action. the gelth zombie is a nice display piece with the gelth phantoms but not really a good action figure. we didn't need an unpossessed toby zed. Grandma Connolly should never have been made. The Editor is a very bad figure of a very dull character who is utterly pointless without the mighty jagrafess. Lady cassandra should have come with a removable skin made of rubber you could attach or detach to/from her frame. Astrid worked as a box set figure but two other releases weren't needed. the hoix just wasn't a well made figure and with no other figures rom that episode seems pretty pointless as aliens in fishnet stockings go.

Scarecrows are pretty pointless without the family of blood to control them. and we got three. why?
Because they can be controlled by other things ie autons or used as guards ie the master

Hath Peck is without a foe to fight or a Martha to fix his arm. or save from drowning.
An army of these would look pretty neat as a shadow group or hath peck alone is useful itself

Lilith is a complete waste without her sisters or a Carrionite in natural form. she's also a rubbish figure.
If they had sorted her standing ability and maybe haven her a sister then she's good but I agree with you

The Adipose are cute but need a matron
these are quite good to use as hostages,Bombs or as shadow daycare things

Genetic print Dalek was just an excuse to flog more Daleks just like all the other Daleks you own
well it's good because it was a first for action figures and also looks darn cool

Nurse Hame she's grey and has a gun but what is she armed against? nothing.
She can be. Imagine the shadow proclomation has employed her to help the doctor. Also the gun is darn cool.

Roman soldier was based on a bloke who works at CO but who cares apart him and his chums at CO
He is useful as a bystander or companion

Mutant reveal Dalek. innaccurate and the tentacles aren't even bendy.
Very useful figure. Firstly it's a normal dalek. Secondly use it as not so battle damaged Caan. Or use it as a production dalek

Damaged Cyberman has no bits and pieces to put him back together and then blow him apart once more. zero play value and a wasted opportunity to do something fun with a figure.
I completely agree

Dalek Sek hybrid is a new age hippy freak Dalek/human who crawls around on a chain and then dies. we didn't need a figure of him. what we needed was a figure of Dalek Sek with open casing and Kaled mutant revealed that had a
stretchy rubber feel and lovely bendy tentacles. a proper monster.
It's quite useful actually as I have two. I use it as a mutated thal, a guard, a dalek slave.

Satan pit lift cage. why? it's a box that hangs from a cable then smashes to bits. it didn't even have a working cable drum. no chance of using it for anything practical like play.
This is really useful. Use it as a capsule, the masters TARDIS, a chula ambulance, a missile or a space elevator.

[hattresley]

completely agree with your list rose. could have done with a great many more exiting figures than those snoozers. i always thought the destroyed cassandra figure was a complete insult to fans, collectors and children everywhere.

[edward e]

I think the most pointless figure was the original rose. a rubish figure of a dull caracter. snore!

[Harold Saxon]

Yep I prefer the New Earth one but I wish it had better articulation.

[Camper Who]

Hawthone was/is very bad.